The stereotypical messages singles get from society and about how to approach finding love drives me crazy!
Women are told that they need to understand men. . .get him to want you, be more goddess-like and access your feminine power. . . learn how to flirt.
Then you’ll get the guy. . . you can worry about “keeping him” later.
And then there are the “rules” that tell you not go out with someone if they don’t contact you with a certain amount of advance notice. . . and reading into texts and what every little thing means.
Play the game.
These messages and games are so bankrupt. They speak to manipulation and being phoney and worse of all is they lump men into this one-size-fits-all category.
Nothing could be farther from the truth.
When we move away from stereotypes and conventional thinking and open up to possibility with practical support and new perspectives, mindset shifts and actions, we discover some important truths
- Men don’t need conquered, manipulated or understood as if they are all the same. Men are human beings. They have fears, pain, wounds and just like women are at different place in their lives. Lumping men into one size fits all is a recipe for staying single and disconnected. Some men are marriage-minded and ready. Others are not. Some are healthy, others are not there yet.
- We attract people who reflect what we feel we deserve. If you’re meeting people who are not what you want, you’re attracting them. You can actually take personal responsibility and change it and instead invite in people you’re inspired by and share your vision and finally break through your own patterns. Not by analyzing it endlessly or pretending, the odds are against you, or that you don’t enough, or staying busy and praying but rather by becoming an observer of yourself and getting clear, getting real and executing a practical plan.
- Your true love will love you just the way you are and when it’s right, it will flow. When you get clear about what you really need in a relationship and that you just need one special person–the one who is right for you–where everything aligns, you can just relax and enjoy the journey and be yourself.
Meet Beth & John. Beth is a Meet to Marry graduate success story who married John, her best friend and true love last month at 43. And in her words, she said “he was so worth waiting for.”
I had the privilege of interviewing them a few weeks ago and their story is so sweet and very typical of the kind of healthy, safe loving relationship our clients create.
Society would have us believe that a big, strong guy like John, a military guy would be tough and complicated and unemotional and not connected to a real vision or his own needs.
But when we meet John, we come to a see a very different picture. John is a warm, sweet, teddy bear of a guy– and very self-aware and present to how from a past relationship where he didn’t experience warmth or feel taken care of.
And then he meets Beth who rocks his world–and we meet an amazing, expressed man, not a stereotypical, tough guy. . . and we’re moved. He shares how it felt to meet a woman who was so clear and genuine and who shares with him so freely–and how refreshing and unfamiliar it felt receive her love and what it took for him to open up to a real partnership.
I’m so blessed to work with people who are ready and committed to having love in their lives and they do what it takes.
But sadly, so many say no, stay stuck and continue to complain about the opposite sex, how the odds are against them and about the low quality of people they met on dating sites. . .and stay stuck for many more years.
Listen to John share his story of how he was consumed with work and not allowing himself to trust others… until he met Beth… John is certainly proof that a strong man can be in tune with his feelings.