It’s no secret that Jennifer Lopez has been on a relationship roller coaster for the past several years. As an adored Hollywood icon, we were there to witness her infamous high-profile relationships unfold before our very eyes.

But we also watched as her relationships fell apart. Who could forget her last-minute abandoned wedding with Ben Affleck in 2002 or her shocking divorce earlier this year from husband of seven years, Marc Anthony? She clearly hasn’t.

During a recent concert in Connecticut, JLo got emotional after performing her new song “Until It Beats No More,” which involved back-up dancers dressed up as her exes, including Diddy, Ben Affleck, Cris Judd and Marc Anthony.

While JLo may have teared-up on stage, she radiated nothing but positivity in an interview following the performance, where the singer told Extra “you have to be okay on your own, and then you can share a life with somebody else.”

The Glamour Woman of the Year told the magazine this for their upcoming December edition:

“I think I’ve finally learned the biggest lesson of all. You’ve got to love yourself first. You’ve got to be OK on your own before you can be OK with somebody else. You’ve got to value yourself and know that you’re worth everything. And until you value yourself enough and love yourself enough to know that, you can’t really have a healthy relationship.”

Sound familiar? It should!

Even for celebrities, self-awareness is the key to breaking away from unhealthy patterns and experiencing breakthroughs in relationships. Lasting relationships are built on a firm understanding of who you are and what you are looking for, not the other way around.

Despite a long history of high-profile breakups, JLo never let the fear of a broken heart prevent her from seeing love as a beautiful thing. She never stopped finding joy and taking risks. She is an example of what it means to be empowered—to know who she is and to recognize herself as an individual capable of giving and being loved.

By understanding who you truly are, you have the ability to change the course of your relationships. Don’t let the hurt from your past dictate the joy of your future. Be confident about who you are so that you can be the best possible version of yourself when you meet “the One.”