As a coach, I’m always telling my clients that when dating to marry they need to seek out someone who inspires you and whose personality you find attractive rather than someone who just shares your interests.
My recent sailing adventure with Michael, my dream husband, perfectly illustrates why you need to do this if you want to marry your perfect match.
But first I need to tell you a little bit about our early days.
When I met Michael, he was warm and open. I loved his personality.
He was an amazing listener and our conversation just flowed and flowed and flowed. I got so caught up in his stories about his life, especially the parts about how, as a child, he got hooked on sailing with his family. I was also inspired by his passion for design and architecture and how he ran his business.
What was I interested in?
When I wasn’t running my recruiting business, you could find me going to Kabbalah lectures and learning about Judaism, exploring vegetarian and ayurvedic cooking, or volunteering at the local animal shelter.
We never would have connected if I insisted on following the conventional dating advice about how you need to find someone who shares your specific interests. And if we didn’t connect, I never would have had all these amazing adventures.
Growing up as I did, I wasn’t exposed to things like sailing or travelling. We didn’t even have a car and rarely left New York.
But I trusted the Meet to Marry™ method that I was developing and that’s now grown into a flourishing business that is helping so many single men and women find love.
So this week I want to share with you why it’s so important to find someone who inspires you.
Seeking out a mate who inspires you and shares your vision, values and goals basically guarantees that you’re going to experience expansive, life-affirming adventures you may never have considered (or only fantasized about).
I knew nothing about sailing before I met Michael, and before our relationship I never would have imagined I’d enjoy it. However, I was so inspired by him that I felt myself completely open up to this new experience.
Through our planning for the trip, I learned that the British Virgin Islands are so great for sailing because they offer perfect weather and wind conditions. Plus, the close proximity between islands makes it great for day sailing. Of course, the clear blue water is a paradise for diving and snorkeling.
Weeks before the trip, Michael began teaching me the ins and outs of being his first mate, and he drew it out in a purple mini-composition notebook. Together, we planned the provisions (there was a kitchen on the boat) and figured out all of the fun gear we’d need.
Over the years, we’d rented small boats like Hobie catamarans, and we’d been on boats with a crew, but this was the first time in a long time that Michael would be navigating and I’d be driving.
I learned the difference between port and starboard and windward and leeward. I had to be ready to take action and release a rope when he said “hard-a-lee” (ready to turn) and to assist in steering while he was raising the sails and charting the course.
We spent the week sailing between islands and ultimately docked at the beautiful Bitter End Yacht Club for 3 days—just resting, enjoying the beach and the majestic views.
Why am I sharing in such great detail?
Before I met my husband, the prospect of sailing in the Caribbean was not at all in the realm of anything I imagined I’d be doing.
But because we are so inspired by each other, we explore each other’s interests and have a great time while we’re doing it. Michael now loves learning about Judaism, goes on personal growth retreats with me, and we’re even taking on eating raw foods because it makes us feel great and energized. These are things he never would have dreamed of before meeting me.
Imagine how great it’s going to be to enjoy a partnership like this!
Your relationship will surprise, delight, and inspire you while expanding your horizons.