A woman recently told me that she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and said that even though she looks “normal,” she has an occasional limp and wants to know when she should start opening up to dates about her autoimmune disease.
We all have our own unique personal challenges and struggles, which is why I wanted to share with you my response to Robin.
I have clients who ask, “Who would want me? I’m unemployed.” Some say, “All the women where I live are beautiful and smart. How will I ever find someone?” Recently, a guy said this to me, “I lost 100 pounds and my skin hangs terribly. When should I tell dates about this?”
There are endless variations to these challenges and why singles are anxious about them.
So what is the Meet to Marry™ answer to these questions?
**Your challenges should in no way affect your ability to enjoy your dating experiences and find someone amazing who will make you feel like your best self.**
There are no rules as to when it is the absolutely “right time” to tell someone about your challenge. In fact, I suggest that you stop worrying about your specific struggle and when to bring it up.
What you really want to do is see when—and with whom—you feel comfortable being yourself around and sharing all sorts of different things about who you are—your vision, your values, and your goals.
These feelings of comfort and support are the best indicators that you’re with someone who’s potentially “the one.” If your vision, values, and goals are in sync with each other, then there’s real long-term potential between the two of you.
So the question isn’t really about “when” you should tell someone. It’s more about with whom you should start sharing your experience.
Keep in mind—and in heart—that sharing personal struggles and triumphs with the right people is inspiring and brings the two of you even closer.
On my second date with the man who’s now my husband, we both wound up sharing our challenges and some painful things we’d gone through. We just felt that comfortable, supported, and excited about each other.
There’s an expression that you can’t say the wrong thing to the right person.
Marriage is about two people with integrity coming together to build a life. Life holds no guarantees when it comes to health, wealth, or anything else. You want to marry someone who loves and respects you as you are—imperfections and all.
If you have a limp, so what? The person you marry will love you with your limp and be there for you whenever you experience challenges associated with your multiple sclerosis.
Guess what? You will love him with his imperfections. . .whatever they may be. Because he will have his own imperfections.
It’s our imperfections that make us human. It’s so important to remember that in our very superficial society with its notions of perfection.
To find the person you will marry who will love you as you and make you feel safe and connected, you need to start by loving and accepting yourself as you are.
This essential issue of clearing away your blockages and loving and accepting yourself as you are is exactly what we focus on in the self-paced version of Finding The One (which also includes 3 monthly group coaching calls with me).
Learning how to achieve this clarity and cultivate this self-love is the most powerfully effective shortcut there is to finding your perfect match.
Feel ready to take the next exciting step in your own meet to marry journey?
Book your own free Breakthrough to Love Session with me. You’ll be amazed at what we can accomplish.