It’s easy to find tips and tricks for dating. Books, websites, seminars, magazines and the advice of friends can provide a wealth of knowledge about everything from dinner table etiquette to conversation starters.
And then there are those unexpected moments of inspiration that happen along the way; those times when things are learned from the unlikeliest of sources—like my pets. Here are a few things they’ve taught me about relationships.
Be ready—and put in the time and effort.
Just because you want a pet doesn’t mean you’re ready for one—and relationships aren’t so different! It’s important to make sure you’re ready for the work it takes to properly care for a pet (or a relationship) before you dive into one.
And let’s face it: pets are a lot of work. You plan your days around their feeding times, grooming appointments and trips to the vet. You stop home every six hours to let them outside and finding a dog sitter before you leave for your last-minute business trip can be nearly impossible.
You make time and put in effort for your pets, so why aren’t you always willing to do the same in your relationships? You choose to invest your time in the things that are important to you. If you’re really ready to meet “the One,” you need to put in the time. Successful relationships only develop when you make them a priority.
Be a good listener.
You’ve been a little down since you found out your best friend is moving across the country. Feeling sad and alone, you just want to talk to someone, so you confide in the only one who always seems to listen: your dog.
Your pet may not always give the advice you need or comforting words to cheer you up, but he’s always there to lend an ear without judgment, and sometimes that’s all you need.
Engaging in meaningful conversation in relationships requires listening, not just talking. Sometimes people just want to share what’s on their mind—their opinions, feelings, stories and experiences. By being an attentive listener, you’ll learn something about that person that you otherwise wouldn’t have noticed.
Always show compassion.
I’ve always had a soft spot for rescued animals, as most have been neglected or abused by the people who were supposed to love them. As a result, they are often scared to approach or be approached by anyone, show affection and get close to those with even the best intentions.
Each of us comes from different backgrounds and we’ve had different experiences in our relationships. Maybe you ended your last relationship because you knew it wasn’t the right fit and you felt confident about your decision. But you might be dating someone new who’s still healing from the hurt of the affair his or her spouse had a year ago.
Recognize that while you may not always relate to or understand the situation your date is going through, you can provide the encouragement he or she may need to move forward and trust again. It’s important to be sensitive and show compassion—even if you feel he or she is not the person for you. Everyone deserves to find meaningful love and the chance to open their heart again.
While animals can’t fulfill our fundamental need to connect with other people, they have a lot to teach us about human relationships!
