Have you seen Enough Said?
You have to!
I went to see it with Michael last weekend, and we were both so moved by the way Eva (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) and Albert (James Gandolfini) interacted with each other in such meaningful and authentic ways.
We were choked up, moved almost to tears.
When I asked my husband why we felt this way, he just said: “Bari, it’s because it’s so simply sweet.”
Let me tell you a little bit about the story. . .without spoiling anything for you.
Eva and Albert are both in the same phase of life—they’re divorced and their daughters are about to enter college—and they met at a party where she announced that there was no one there she found attractive. (Hmmmm….I’ve heard this one before!)
But Albert, who agreed with what she was saying and claimed he didn’t see anyone interesting at the party, winds up asking a mutual friend for her number and they begin to date.
For the first time in their lives, they both feel that true love and unconditional acceptance are possible.
Albert’s a teddy-bear type with a big gut and lots of flaws who didn’t feel loved or accepted in his marriage. Instead, he always felt criticized and challenged about his preferences—like his penchant for picking out the onions from his guacamole.
Eva’s a petite massage therapist dreading the idea of being an empty nester, who spent years in a marriage to a man who was unwilling to meet her requests and made her feel really misunderstood.
She asks Albert questions and sees him as wonderful, even with his flaws, and he sees in her the possibility of feeling loved, accepted, and safe.
A future opens up for them, but first they must deal with the doubts Albert’s ex-wife plants in Eva’s mind.
4 IMPORTANT MEET TO MARRY™ LESSONS IN ENOUGH SAID
1. Your perfect match is someone who is going to make you feel like your best self.
Many people ask me, “How will I know if this is the woman I should marry?” or “How can I tell if I should keep dating this guy?”
My answer is always: “Do you feel like your best self with this person? Do you feel that he brings out and celebrates your best qualities while also showing compassion for your flaws? Do you feel inspired by each other?”
It’s pretty simple. Either you do or you don’t.
2. There’s an element of magic and serendipity to relationships.
Sometimes your perfect match appears when and where you least expect it, so let yourself be open to all sorts of experiences.
In Enough Said, Eva and Albert were surprised by their connection and didn’t have expectations or an attachment to specific results, so they were open to seeing and embracing each other as they really are—with their strengths and flaws.
3. Trust your gut even when well-meaning people are offering you advice.
In the movie, Eva seeks advice about love from a friend whose relationship experiences were negative, and this advice threatened to poison the sweetness of her blossoming relationship, which felt so right to her.
You need to trust your instincts!
4. Be vulnerable and share who you are.
When you’re dating someone and it feels right to you, you need to be vulnerable enough to share your vision, values, and goals.
When you watch the movie, pay close attention to how Eva and Albert talk with each other. Eva talks about her relationship with her daughter, her hopes and dreams, and even her fear of feet in a funny, warm-hearted way. Albert feels safe enough to share his home, preferences, and even his disappointments. You could feel the emotional intimacy between them.
Go treat yourself to Enough Said. You won’t regret it! Let me know what you think and if you have any questions.
Image: ©Nyul/bigstock.com
