Well, there’s a tearjerker.
Take a few minutes to watch the “Marriage Market Takeover” film by SK-II. This 4-minute film took the 2016 Cannes Lions festival by storm this week, winning two Cannes Lions awards, including a coveted Glass Lion award—along with tons of press coverage.
In the film, single women in China are courageously standing up against the pressure of being labeled “sheng nu,” or “leftover woman.”
So why all the buzz?
Because it’s something people everywhere can relate to. In any culture (some more than others) there can be so much pressure to get married. Sometimes it’s overt. Other times it’s more subtle like passing comments or casual questions like, “So are you ready to settle down yet?”
If you’re not married, there may be aspects of being single you’re enjoying—like time with your friends, the flexibility to do your hobbies on a whim. . .or maybe you’re someone who’s happy that you have solitude when you want it.
And yet, wanting partnership, companionship, and intimate love is a deeply human, deeply personal desire.
On the contrary, “We’re born to connect and bond in this way–it’s so healing. . .”
No such thing as a leftover woman—or a leftover man
Some of the women shown needed their families to accept that they’re still whole and worthy of love, even though they’re not married by the ripe old age of 25. Others longed for love but just didn’t have the right person yet.
A powerful paradigm shift is needed. . .
- Each person is unique
- Each person has their own journey and clock
- To help them is to understand what goes into finding the “RIGHT” partner for them. Society’s view needs to change and HOW WE HELP them. The process should be an inspired one.
Their message, though, is a powerful one.
There is no such thing as a leftover woman or a leftover man.
Getting married just for the sake of getting married is a fast track to misery as is shown by our 50% divorce rate.
Timing is everything
Deep down we all want the same thing: to love and be loved every day for who you are. Truly, healthy love is so healing. It doesn’t matter where you live or what your culture is like. The desire is universal.
And if we’re going to live intimately with someone, we want that person to be a good match for us. Each person has unique emotional needs and what one person needs and wants is difference from another.
We want to be supported. We even want to be challenged in a loving way. We want our partner to add something so rich to our lives that we can’t imagine living without them—and we want to be that person for them!
Some of the women you saw are standing up for their decision to stay single until marriage can be about love, partnership, and trust—and not about hitting a milestone by a certain age.
As one woman put it, “I don’t want to get married just for the sake of marriage. I won’t live happily that way.”
And another woman said, “I want to take the time to find the right person.”
“Don’t let pressure dictate your future.”
Wanting to get married because your family keeps bugging you about it—or because all of your friends are getting married and you don’t want to feel left behind—is NOT the same thing as wanting to BE married because you want to share your life with someone who cherishes you.
If you’re looking for a lifelong partner because you feel like you should, but deep down you’re actually afraid or conflicted, or maybe feeling a little resistant…then guess what? Your dating life will reflect that. That’s when you’ll experience things like dates who run hot and cold, who make you feel clingy or anxious—or on the flip side, who trigger your longing for space.
As you do the inner work to Be The One to Find The One, remember what you’re truly looking for. Yes, you want to get married, but never lose sight of WHY. Let go of any pressure you’ve felt recently and come back to what you know about how you want to FEEL in a partnership.
That’s what these young women are doing. And they’re declaring that all of us can live with joy along the way.
Be honest with yourself for a second: Is even a tiny part of you conflicted about wanting to get married? That’s okay. But let’s get to the bottom of what that really is. Is it fear of losing your independence? Are you worried that you can’t trust anyone to really have your back? Or are you afraid that just like the other relationships, the next one won’t work out and you’ll end up hurt?
Believe it or not, a 30-minute Breakthrough to Love session can powerfully and PERMANENTLY pinpoint and clear old fears and blocks so you can get what you truly want! Let’s hop on the phone and chat. I only have a few time slots left in the next couple of weeks and soon these sessions will no longer be complimentary, so make sure to get on my calendar now.