I’m a sucker for all things transformational, from movies to books to TED Talks. A few weeks ago, bored with our choices, I suggested to my husband Michael–who loves my movie picks–that we revisit some favorites. One of my favorite things to do is and one of the best things about being married is always having someone to snuggle up with at the end of the day and watch a movie.
So I chose three movies we loved the first time around that were even better the second time: Joy, Silver Linings Playbook and Trainwreck.
The first one we watched was Trainwreck.
Trainwreck is the story of a super raunchy journalist played by Amy Schumer. This film is rated R (and is definitely not for kids). In the film, Amy does everything she can to avoid real intimacy. She sleeps around, won’t spend the night with guys she meets at clubs and bars whose names she doesn’t know, has a boyfriend who loves her that she would never marry and arrogantly mocks her sister who is in a loving marriage.
Amy, who is so relatable as real person, when faced with the possibility of true love runs from it and does everything she can to sabotage it.
Why is Amy so afraid of love? Why are most of us?
In the opening scene of Trainwreck, Amy’s father tells her and her older sister, who are about 5 and 7 years old, that marriage and monogamy is not natural and it just doesn’t work.
Can you imagine growing up in a divorced family, 5 years old and hearing this from your father?
Maybe you can relate to this or know someone like this.
When we’re small and we hear or experience messages like this at such a young age, it causes us to be confused about how relationships work and we unconsciously do everything in our power to keep from being close to someone and finding yourself stuck in frustrating relationship patterns.
Perhaps this is the reason your relationships are not working out.
And also since her father wasn’t around when she was growing up, can you see how important it is to have proper modeling from your mother and your father?
When we don’t experience healthy modeling (and it’s not your fault) we can understand why you’ve been a train wreck in relationships.
You see, often people growing up in divorced households or with parents that were not happy, grow up unconsciously attracting the wrong people or having a string of unfulfilled relationships. This is because deep down inside, we don’t believe we are worthy of having the true love and intimacy we desire and that healthy and true long lasting love doesn’t exist for us.
The good news and without it giving it all away, Amy does finds love, or better said: love finds her.
What was the shift? What happened with Amy?
Let me tell you what happened. Amy finally interrupts her pattern and comes to the conclusion that she’s actually met a wonderful guy and she doesn’t want to lose him.
She chooses to open up and let in a man who loves her as she is despite her flaws.
He really sees her.
She could have shut it down and said: “I don’t believe it will last” or “something’s not quite right” or “I haven’t met the right one yet” when she had!
So she had a choice. To stop allowing the past (her father’s words) to dictate her choices in the present OR take down the walls and recognize what was right in front of her by allowing herself to be vulnerable. Real. Trusting.
That’s Hollywood. A few scenes, a few twists and turns and boom!
Sounds easy in the movies, but how do you open up to real intimacy and find yourself in your dream relationship even if you been hurt many times before?
How do you go from feeling like you can’t trust, fear of making another mistake and getting stuck in the wrong relationship to being open vulnerable and real inviting in the right ones who have integrity?
In real life, you need a real plan--something specific for your needs and circumstances and someone to help you follow that plan. A plan includes the actual tools to “get past the past” in a real and practical way–not year in and year out of “getting closer” and open-ended analyzing the past,
Instead a new approach that allows you to bust through the bullshit that’s kept you single and alone! Not theoretical, not woo woo, not analytical or open-ended. A plan to unleash and transform your experience of yourself and quickly to get you into the right relationship. . .
There’s a big price to pay for not taking down the walls and opening your heart.
Your true love is waiting for you now! Do you want to be alone on News Years Eve???
If not, click here now and book a call and lets get you dating for marriage and feeling inspired!!