Here we are a week into 2012! Are you ready for an amazing new year to achieve your dreams and find the true love you’ve been looking for?
Now that we’re back, I want to share with you what we’ve been up to recently. I love the holiday season because it is exciting to begin anew with a blank slate. My favorite part of winding down is that it’s a time to reflect and to plan, both of which I find invigorating. The season, with its built-in downtime, enables us to acknowledge our accomplishments, to reflect on what worked as well as what didn’t work, and to look ahead to a brand new year primed for new and fresh possibilities.
My husband Michael and I use this time to review our long-term goals, which we call our “life plan,” and to evaluate our progress. We then do an exercise called “Creating and Completing.” We do this while relaxing at the beach on cushy chairs–one of our favorite settings. As we breathe in the negative ions provided by the ocean breeze, we take some time to gain perspective away in a quiet atmosphere. We take a step back and, with clarity, acknowledge what together we accomplished in 2011. Then we look at where we fell short, what we learned, what was missing and what we would “do over” if we could. This is the process of completing.
It’s so important to acknowledge accomplishments and to joyfully celebrate them! It makes having done what you did to reach the finish line so much sweeter—and celebrating moments is what we will remember.
Get complete for new love in 2012.
Reflecting on completions allows for new freedoms, which are especially essential in the romantic arena. In the Meet to Marry™ coaching program, there is a date to marry tip that says “Be 100 percent free of past attachments” so that you can have room in your life to welcome someone new.
Incompletions are those things that eat away at your energy and vitality—they bug you and you can’t seem to shake those nagging thoughts. Among these incompletions are communications you never shared, regrets you carry or unresolved anger affecting you the same way a clogged pipe prevents a steady flow. These are the “if only’s,” “should have’s” and the “it’s not fairs.” Incompletions can be compared to walking around with a pebble in your shoe. Why would you want to start a fresh new year with blockages or needless pain when you can simply make a new choice to get complete?
Incompletions can keep you from being open to new love and you might not even know it.
Just like the pebble in your shoe, being incomplete with people is limiting. Getting complete from past relationship disappointments is a liberating experience.
Getting complete is a result of choosing to do so.
To get complete, nothing monumental has to happen. You just have to choose to declare the past relationships that you are sad or regretful about as “complete.” And that will make it so. A blank slate. If something were meant to work out, it would have.
That is being in reality and that is the point.
To assist you in getting to the point of declaring completion, here is a powerful action you can take:
Write a completion letter to someone you are not complete with.
If you are upset or stuck about a past relationship that didn’t work out, write a completion letter. Take a few minutes to write a letter (that you will not send) to the person you are not complete with. In the letter, express your gratitude for what you learned from the person and for the time spent in the relationship (perhaps for your children if you have children with the person), your feelings of regret or sadness (as applies to you), what was missing for you and anything else you’d like to express.
Finally, end the letter by wishing the person well and letting them know you are moving on. Then tear up the letter. If you prefer, you can call the person, if it’s appropriate, but most of the time, this simple letter will do the trick. Repeat this for all of the people (and situations) you are incomplete with. You know who and what they are because you spend time and energy thinking about them and wishing they, or the situation were different.
Get complete and acknowledge your accomplishments.
Acknowledge the big things as well as the small things in all aspects of your life, including personal, family, business, spiritual, health and creative where you are incomplete or feel you missed the mark or fell short. Make sure to also acknowledge your triumphs.
During our sessions on the beach, Michael and I acknowledged our triumphs! I acknowledged having published a book, appearing on TV and radio, speaking in front of over 500 people, giving up caffeine and starting pilates. We got compete by acknowledging where we got stuck and tripped up and we recommitted to having more fun, balance and communication. I let go of where I personally fell short and forgave myself and recommitted where I needed to. We got our calendars out and planned the new year. We added classes we would take, places we would visit, people we would help and support, as well as various other business, personal and spiritual goals.
Getting complete and acknowledging what worked and what didn’t work is powerful. It shows forgiveness, gratitude and maturity. With that blank slate in front of you, you are ready to plan your 2012, the year of possibility and love in which you will design the life and love you dream of and deserve.