Do you ever catch yourself saying things about yourself, your situation or about love that you’re pretty sure are true?
- It’s hard to find quality people to date.
- I’m not good at [fill in the blank].
- I don’t have the secret to finding love.
This week, I asked Monica (not her real name), a member of the Meet to Marry community, about her plans for the evening. Monica is smart and successful. She really wants to find her true love and step into the next phase of life with a real partner to create her dream family.
She said: “I’m going to an event tonight. I’m pretty shy at these things, but I’ll go anyhow and try to be social. . .“
Really? Something really important is missing.
The good thing here is… she’s made a choice to be in action: I’M GOING!
However, a mistake many singles make is that action (showing up) isn’t enough to propel you to your dream. There’s a foundational companion to action and that’s mindset.
The steps to success are:
BE > DO > HAVE
Success is 80% mindset and 20% doing. It’s critical that your beliefs and your mindset are aligned with your actions.
When Monica declares “I’m shy,” she’s literally setting herself up for an experience of being quiet, reserved, unexpressed. . .and that’s a limited belief.
Think about it – Those few words literally dictate the experience she would have at the event!
Is the event going to be amazing or will it be something she’d have to survive?
By declaring herself to be SHY, she is really saying:
- I’m afraid to speak out.
- I’m afraid of being rejected!
Does it have to be that way for Monica? For you?!
The reason most of us have these limited beliefs about ourselves is that we’re used to it – we’ve created this reality for ourselves. It’s nothing but a dis-empowering story — a bad habit!
It’s a story we tell about ourselves that isn’t “the truth.”
The good news is that since it’s a limited belief, you can choose a new belief that’s far more empowering.
Words create your world, so choose your words wisely.
- WHO WOULD YOU BE WITHOUT YOUR STORY?
- HOW WOULD YOU SHOW UP WITHOUT IT?
When I asked this of Monica, she had an “aha” moment and answered:
“I would be confident, expressive, and wouldn’t care about the outcome. I would show up, enjoy, and be free to be myself.”
Instead of “I’m shy,” she could say
“I’m warm, open, expressive, and ready to meet my true love wherever he may be.”
Now that’s powerful!
By saying “but I’ll go anyhow and try to be social. . .“ Monica’s really saying “I don’t want to be there.“ Instead, she could be excited about the possibility of who might be there!
Don’t try – DO!
In everything, success is a choice. It’s a powerful energy – it’s alive! When you choose powerfully, the universe conspires to support you!
Who would you be and how would you show up without your “story?”
I’d love to know.