You can change your dating reality right now—so that next year at this time you’re with “the one.”

But if you’re truly prepared and ready to find true love, you’ve got to get real. . .really real.

A new friend came to one of my recent talks. Caroline declared to me that she’s ready to get married and really wants to find “the one” this year.

(Click here if you want to gain FREE access to 3 Secret Love Essentials for Meeting & Marrying This Year, the webinar version of the talk she attended).

Here’s what she said when I expressed my enthusiasm and offered to support her:

“I guess I just don’t know how to pursue achieving my goal. I’m not interested in dating. I’d rather start naturally . . . maybe by dating a friend or acquaintance. But when I think about it, most of the guys I know don’t live around here, are married or in a committed relationship, or they’re gay. I actually made a list of the single straight local guys I know, and it was very short. I really have no idea of where to start.”


Yes, Caroline really wants to get married, but it’s not the guys—or the lack of them—that are holding her back.

She’s the one who’s really holding herself back.

You’ve got to be both mentally and physically prepared to take on the challenge.

Are you stuck in one of these less-than-powerful ways of thinking that are guaranteed to keep you single?

Do you. . . .

  • Wish a current friend to turn into a love interest?
  • Hope that you can just search among the pool of people you already know?
  • Want to get married but don’t want to date?

Most singles have some sort of disempowered perspective that’s getting in their way of finding the love they want and deserve.  It’s really important to identify yours.


If you’re feeling sad and frustrated about being single this Valentine’s Day, I want you to know that you can do something—actually a few things—to grab control and achieve your goal of meeting and marrying your perfect match.


Nothing worth having ever just starts naturally (except maybe in the movies). But this isn’t Hollywood; this is your life, and you need to be your own Prince or Princess Charming.

Your future beloved isn’t going to ride in on a white horse, so choose a different route.

Think about it. . . .

  • Did you obtain your degree by casually attending your college courses?
  • Did you get your toned body by being sedentary?
  • Did you develop your close friendships by ignoring your friends?

Of course not!

All great things require intentionality and nurturing. A success-oriented mindset, combined with consistent action, yields results.

Not pursuing your most important goals and dreams creates a cycle of self-sabotage and disappointment.

So if you want to find love, pursue it wholeheartedly.


Do you ever hear yourself saying one of these things?

  • I want to get married, but I hate dating.
  • I want it to get married, but I probably won’t find the one for me.
  • I want to get married, but I’m afraid I’ll end up divorced like my parents.
  • I want to get married, but how will I find someone as great as my dad or mom?
  • I want to get married, but the dating scene is scary and confusing, so I might as well stay home.

Overcome the “buts” and fears by acknowledging but not getting paralyzed by them.

Get really clear about your “buts” and fears.

Write them out. Get them out of your head and heart and out onto the page.

Then, let yourself realize that most of what we worry about never actually happens.

Embrace the fact that the road to having what you want is going to be paved with challenges and tests—it’s built into the design of personal growth.

Challenge your thinking.

How are you creating your future by staying home and wishing and hoping? You’re not.

Something great to remember is that FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. So staying home actually reinforces your fear.

The bottom line is this: Wanting to find love and not dating will not move you forward.

You only need to meet and marry one person, so get out there with a positive attitude, and you’ll pave the way for success. Staying home and being negative definitely won’t.


The person you’ll marry is someone you don’t know (yet!) How exciting is that?

And that’s why there are dating sites, matchmakers, singles events, and friends who want to help you.

But first you’ve got to be the best you that you can be.

So consider taking on a new attitude of excitement about meeting new people and seeing each of them as a gem.


I want you to be with your “one” next year (and hopefully sooner), so I want you to revolutionize your perspective on love and get the tools you need to succeed.

Print out this blog post and take the steps that I recommend.

Also, I want to invite you to 3 Secret Love Essentials for Meeting & Marrying This year, a FREE 60-minute webinar that will accelerate your process! CLICK HERE to gain access.

Image: ©06photo/