So, you’ve had a successful marriage to your profession for many years.
You negotiate deals for your clients that have them falling in love with you.
You’re strong, assertive personality has attracted suitors in the form of Fortune 500 companies.
But when it comes to romantic relationships, you believe that your intimidating success scares away promising prospects. Let me tell you something–you may have broken the glass ceiling at work, but you need to break through your personal glass ceiling and get beyond your fears in order to get promoted to healthy relationship material.
I often hear from my clients that the men they date find them intimidating and they feel the need to “dumb it down” to win a second date. They lay blame on the men, saying it’s because the men are insecure in themselves and therefore an intelligent, successful woman is a turnoff. The real question is, can a successful, intelligent, strong woman find true love without waiting, dumbing it down or settling? The answer is ABSOLUTELY YES, but it will require creating a new perspective of how you see yourself and the essence of who you really are. Since you are already used to solving problems in the office, this should be a piece of cake.
Work life vs. Love life
Your career is straight forward, you perform tasks to achieve results. In most cases you have an action plan and a clear path to success. You pitch your product or service, break down barriers and close the deal. In love, the path has not always been so clear. At work you do the job and you go home. With work you have a very clear plan from point A to point B, its very objective. Relationships on the other hand are about intimacy and being seen. We bare our souls allowing ourselves to be vulnerable.
If you have a hidden or unconscious fear of being controlled, judged or abandoned because of experiences from the past, instead of being a magnet to love and intimacy your repel it. Being “intimidating” is really a defense mechanism–that you may unknowing use for protection and you will never seal the deal on a relationship until you break it down.
Find Your Man of Power
Men are not all the same, so to say “all men are intimidated by my success” is crippling to your love life. Do healthy men, who appreciate strong, successful women exist? Of course, they do and here are some traits to cultivate within yourself and to seek out in a man:
- Self-aware with a clear understanding of what he wants in his life— a real partner
- Comfy in his own skin (secure in his career and personal life)
- A cheerleader for your successes—a true appreciation for the strong, successful and vulnerable woman that you are.
Be The Change You Want to See
Most of us were never taught how to find healthy love. It wasn’t something we grew up seeing and even if it was, we become paralyzed by the fear of making a mistake or getting it wrong. So instead, we focus on work and we stay single.
Here are a few things to consider to make change happen:
- You create your own reality: If you’re attracting men who find you intimidating, you’re creating that. Intimacy is about a real connection. Your soulmate will connect with your true essence and you won’t find him until the walls you’ve put up come down. (Hint: analyzing it in therapy is not the same thing as taking them down).
- You’re not your career, you’re not your achievements: Under that professional resume you’re still a human being. The real you has dreams and fears but they may be covered up by your facade. If you show up in an authentic way, and are open to love, you’ll invite it in.
- Unclog your past: Without even knowing it, we can find ourselves blocked by things from the past (i.e., disappointments, daddy issues, traumas, lack of role models, etc.) and putting up walls to prevent the possibility of being controlled.
Truth be told you can have love in your life with an amazing person and enjoy a successful career. You have to say YES to love, clear the inner space, learn how to find it with a plan (Yes, with a plan!).
With a new mindset you can be as open to success in love as you are in your career. Before you know it, you’ll find yourself in a loving and healing relationship with your best friend and partner living the life you’ve always dreamed of.
For more information about how you too can break through love’s glass ceiling with a strategic and tactical plan, view my new training at www.meettomarry.com/truelove.