One of the guys in my private coaching packages recently asked a really good question. “What’s the right way to respond when a date asks, `Are you seeing other people?'”
In fact, a woman in Finding The One (my group coaching program) also asked the same question. It’s bound to come up when you’re using the Meet to Marry™ method of dating to marry, so I want to share my answer with you. Keep in mind that the answers work for both men and women.
You need to be honest that you’re on an exciting adventure that involves meeting many new marriage-minded people for short coffee dates to see if they have the qualities necessary for being the one for you.
So what are specific things you can say to people on pre-date calls and after your first or second date?
What should you say if you don’t feel that there’s a match?
Best Ways to Answer “Are You Seeing Other People?”
- If someone asks if you are seeing other people on a pre-date phone call, and you’d like to meet her for a coffee date, you can say, “I’m committed to finding the person I’m going to marry so I do have a number of dates lined up. Why don’t we meet for coffee to see if there’s something there? I’m really looking forward to getting to know you.”
- What if she’s someone you’ve already dated once or twice and you feel like she has potential but you’re not exactly sure yet?
Tell her, “I have been meeting new people because I’m very serious about finding my perfect match. I feel like we’re really clicking and want to get to know you even better, so we can figure out if we should keep moving forward. What about you?” This would also be a great time to share your vision of lifetime partnership and ask if she’s willing to describe her ideal relationship and if she’s seeing anyone else.
Once you find yourself really caring for someone you’re dating and feel yourself getting more committed, you can definitely have a frank conversation about exclusivity.
You can say something like this: “I think things are progressing really wonderfully with us and feel we’ve got a great deal of potential together. I’d love for us to see each other exclusively. What do you think?”
- Not interested in seeing someone again? Be honest and compassionate. Let your date know how much you’ve enjoyed learning about her and wish her the best.
You always want to treat dates with the utmost respect because while someone might not be the one for you, s/he is perfect for someone else.
Remember, every date is a gift and each person you date will bring you closer to the one.
When you’re out on dates, do you ever encounter questions that you’re not sure how to answer?
Share them in the comments box, and I’ll answer them.