Most of us grew up believing that when the time was right, the right person would simply come along and we’d live happily ever after. In reality, this is almost never the case. For most of us, finding the one with whom we will spend the rest of our lives takes a conscious effort. It’s not a passive experience, but something we must proactively prepare for and be proactive about. And it starts with asking one simple question: “Am I ready?”
You may think you’re completely prepared to share your life with someone else. You’re actively dating. You’re putting yourself out there. You’re in that marriage mindset. Your closet is half empty…you’re out there “doing” a lot of stuff and that’s admirable.
Or so you believe…
Imagine you were going to meet the person of your dreams today. Just imagine. What’s your reaction? Are you excited and wondering, where is he/she?
Are you thinking, ugh…what if it’s the wrong one again, or he/she leaves me or doesn’t think I’m good enough or thin enough, or successful enough and doesn’t stick. . .again?!?
What you may not realize is that you could be wearing emotional blinders that you’re not even aware of…things that are holding you back from finding that special someone who is meant just for you. Sometimes it takes a true reality check in order to identify and remove those barriers to love and get you to a position where you are truly and wholly ready to take that final step into marriage.
It happens more often than you may think. In fact, let me share with you one such real-life scenario below:
37-year-old Michelle thought she was doing everything right….which is why she couldn’t figure out why finding Mr. Right was so difficult. She was smart and successful, yet in spite of all the things she had done to try to fix the problem – like therapy, prayer and even hiring a matchmaker – nothing was working. She even considered moving. . . .she was sure that her city had a lack of marriage minded men and the dating sites sorely lacked what she was looking for.
You see, Michelle honestly believed that she was fully prepared to leave the single life behind and commit to someone, yet deep down she was subconsciously telling herself that she was not enough. That she’d never find the right person. That she was destined to be alone. That where she lived wasn’t conducive to finding love. That 10 years ago it would have been easier, etc.
It was a blind spot she didn’t even realize she had, and one that was so huge that it was influencing her entire life – especially when it came to dating. Discovering this blind spot and the reality check that she still had work to do to overcome those toxic, self-defeating thoughts helped Michelle to start moving things along in a positive direction.
Could you be struggling with emotional blind spots just like Michelle? Here’s a simple test to see. Ask yourself the following three questions (and answer honestly):
- Do you feel fear or angst at the thought that you might meet someone and make the wrong choice?
- Are you afraid you’re going to meet someone who other people won’t approve of?
- Do you worry that you’ll never meet the right person?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, you have fear in your life that could be holding you back.
The problem is, knowing what’s not working doesn’t solve the problem. Gaining new and healthy perspectives – that’s what makes a difference, so we don’t remain slaves to our blind spots and stuck in the past. So we can find love separate from, and despite of, our “baggage.”
You can create anything….just like Michelle, who is now dating a guy who totally meets her needs and shares her vision for the future. She’s found a healthy relationship – one that she wouldn’t have recognized before her breakthrough and after clearing the emotional baggage she didn’t even know she had.
Stay tuned next week when I’ll share why some of the things you’ve tried haven’t worked and what to do instead.
Don’t want to wait? Ready to uncover your blind spots and overcome them once and for all so you can meet and marry this year? Book a Breakthrough to Love Session today and learn how to find your one in a new and exciting way that attracts just the right people to you.