If you want to accelerate the process of meeting and marrying your perfect match, you need to be 100% available.

Being 95% available or even 98% just won’t cut it when it comes to attracting your ideal partner.

And guess what?

Just because you’re not currently in a relationship doesn’t mean that you’re 100% available.

On an emotional level, you might still be holding on to an ex or some part of a previous relationship.

Lack of completion with the past could be one of the biggest blocks getting in your way of being totally open to love.

And it’s that very part of you –the part that is not “complete”—that could be sabotaging your efforts to move forward and find a partner who uplifts you.

What do these emotional incompletions look like? How do they manifest themselves?

  • When you’re feeling lonely, do you tend to think about one of the people you used to date?
  • Do you still feel sadness about one of your past relationships?
  • Are you still focused on what you feel you did wrong in this previous relationship?
  • Does anger still well up inside you when you think of what your ex did to you?
  • Do you still wish you handled the situation differently or been different?

These are all signs that you’re not totally complete with your past.


If you were meant to be with that person, the relationship would have worked out and you’d still be together.

So now what?


1. Make physical space.

A client (the one who inspired me to write this post) emailed me this update: “I cleared some `space’ last night by deleting contact info (in my phone) of men I’ve dated. It’s kind of like getting rid of clothes you no longer wear but think, `Maybe, I’ll want to wear that one day.’ Felt good!”

What’s so great about this strategy?

It closes off the possibility of you going back and calling someone from the past. There’s an expression that there’s no future in the past.

What can you do to clear your physical space to make room for new love?

2. Get into reality.

Get clear that the way you felt and what you experienced wasn’t right.

Write down the name of an ex you’re not complete with and then list all of the things that didn’t work in the relationship and how these things made you feel. Would you be happy living and feeling that way now?

What’s so great about this strategy?

You’ll snap out of fantasy and into reality by realizing that the relationship wasn’t right for you. It’s easy to romanticize the past, but the reality is that it just didn’t work.

3. Imagine your future and draw it to you.

Imagine that you’ve already met your ideal match. Visualize as vividly as you can how you want your future life to be and then evoke this vision on a daily basis. Infuse this happiness into your life—right now!

What’s great about this strategy?

Science has proven that like attracts like.

If you’re wallowing in the past and feeling low and negative, you will attract more of those feelings into your life.

On the flip side, if you envision and imagine the future you want – and how you want to feel—that is what you’ll attract.


I wish you the best in your process of applying these three techniques.

Let me know how it feels to get complete with your past so that you’re open to your amazing future.

Still feeling stuck and need some personalized support to release yourself from past relationships? Check out my free Breakthrough to Love Session.