Question:
The awesome guy I liked completely disappeared after a few great calls. We were supposed to meet up yesterday and on Monday night had a quick text exchange, but he never responded and I have heard nothing since then.
I honestly have no idea why. I’m pretty upset and trying to remind myself it’s not me, but I’m still struggling. I really thought he could be the one!
Any advice?
Answer:
Look, we all want things to work out . . . .we want true love to happen quickly.
You have these amazing phone calls and Skype dates and you’re so excited because it seemed like you were on the same page and then….BOOM!
It turns out he or she is totally NOT the one, or worse yet….he or she just completely disappears.
And you’re left wondering:
What went wrong?
How did I blow it this time?
I don’t understand!! It must have been something about me!
What happened? Things seemed to be going so great!
You know what?
Nothing happened. You didn’t do or say anything wrong.
The truth is simple: he or she just wasn’t the one! Why? Because if he/she were the one, things would have flowed.
There’s a saying that attachment is the enemy of happiness.
And sometimes we get so attached to an idea we can’t see things as they truly are. Instead, we see them as we wish them to be. But that that’s not fact or reality based.
So before getting attached and ending up disappointed or suffering because something “looks good,”, have the presence of mind to actually see if it actually is good – if you’re both really on the same page.
Want to know the secret to being present and not suffering through all these “whys” and “what ifs”? It’s simple. Just put the following three things into action:
1. Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket.
Since dating is a numbers game and you have to meet many to find the one, fill your calendar with a lot of exciting events and date in a proactive and joyful mindset. Don’t just sit around hoping so and so will call you, because what if they don’t? Instead, make the conscious decision to be happy and confident either way.
2. Don’t make up stories about why something didn’t work out.
If someone doesn’t call or follow up, it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, with the situation or anything else for that matter. Be aware of when you’re making it into more than it really is in your mind.
All that happened is the they didn’t call back. Something may have happened, changed or it’s just not a fit and they didn’t want to speak up. If you really want to know why, be proactive and visible by reaching out and asking. Just remember not to get too attached to the answer.
3. Don’t judge the vehicle – just accept that people are people.
So many people I talk to say things like, “I hate swipe sites,” or “I won’t go speed dating, etc.” But you know what? If you’re on a swipe site, at a singles event or attending some other dating venue and you’re amazing (which you are), then there must be other amazing people there too.
And when it comes to people disappearing or not calling back, you can’t “judge” the venue for that.Everyone’s at a different place in their journey with different goals, so as an empowered dater, you know you just needone right fit.
So enjoy your dating life and know that you don’t have to know why a person didn’t call back or something didn’t work out. It just didn’t, and that’s okay. Once you accept these powerful truths and begin to embrace them in your life, you will gain the clarity and confidence you need to finally attract and meet the perfect partner for you.
Still struggling? Book a Breakthrough to Love Session today and find out exactly what’s standing in your way of finding a healthy, lifelong relationship and how you can turn things around once and for all!
