Way back in 2011, inspired by Stephen Covey’s groundbreaking 1989 book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, I first developed The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Daters.

Have you read my post yet? You can find it here.

Today, I want to delve into habit #6: synergize.

Covey explains that “when you communicate synergistically, you are simply opening your mind and heart and expressions to new possibilities, new alternatives, new options.”

Can you imagine how this habit might apply to dating?

When you adopt habit #6 as a dater, you synergize: You listen to the other person with your ears and with your heart. You ask questions, learn where they are, and understand where they’ve been. When you date synergistically, you make a habit of withholding judgment about your date’s merit as a person. You make a habit of cultivating your own innate powers of empathy.

Over time, if you’re not already there, you’ll habitually become a kinder and more open dater. You’ll be able to see the beauty in every person--even those who are really different from you and whom you’d never choose for marriage.

That’s the value of habit #6. When you learn to synergize in your dating, you become a better you.

I’m sure you must have questions about this. Like, “How will this possibly help me find the one?” And, “What do I do about those dates with people whose views are so different from my own?”

Dating synergistically doesn’t mean being dishonest or hypocritical.

No--it’s the very opposite of that.

When you adopt habit #6--when you synergize--you are honest, yet gentle. You are sincere, yet kind. Be open with your date: If you don’t feel like you are making a connection with someone, especially if their core values really don’t align with yours, say so. Simply explain that while you respect their views, you don’t think they will match yours in the long run. That person might not be right for you, but they are probably right for someone else. As are you. 

Tell me: What is one thing you will do to adopt habit #6? What simple step can you take to date synergistically? Share your thoughts on Facebook or at Bari@MeetToMarry.com.