Have you ever met someone and got really excited? You say, this MUST be the one.
The pressure we put on ourselves can turn it into a very stressful and confusing time We focus on how not to mess things up instead of living in the moment. You begin to over analyze every little detail…. What does it mean? Should I text him or wait?
In today’s post, I’m answering a question from a reader to shed light on how dating can be sane, clear and even fun. Yes, fun!
Question:
Last night I had a lovely evening with a terrific guy I had met previously. It unexpectedly turned into a delicious date.
I had the option to stay with him but declined and said I want more than that and he was grand about it. By the way, he doesn’t live in my area but comes here a lot for business. This one has potential…
So, my question is: He said he would “talk to (me) tomorrow,” so should I wait for him to follow up? Or text him a thank you note?
He’s leaving town tonight after for meetings in another city tomorrow.
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Dear Member, (Name removed for privacy)
Thanks for your question!
Here’s my answer.
I know from our conversations that you want to find the one for you, to be done with dating wrong men and finally be in an amazing relationship with someone who inspires you. I know how painful it is to live alone, travel alone and have no one to share your daily life with. . . when you’re so alive and vibrant. I understand how much you crave a real partner with integrity and commitment.
To text or not to text, is not the question you want to be asking given what you desire.
Since you’re dating to find a lifetime partner, it’s important to stay present to your vision and know the right questions to ask and what to look for. This is serious business!
Often we enter into relationships because of a physical attraction and the attention we’re getting. They caught our eye and as we spend time with them, we start to feel a connection, we feel chemistry and attraction and we have a great time.
Dating With a Plan
When you’re dating in an empowered way, you know what questions to ask related to your vision to compare and contrast if he could be the right one at the right time. . on the same page.
No games.
You want to find the person who aligns with you and your needs — the right situation and package so you feel safe and connected.
No mystery.
Instead of declaring this a delicious date. . . that may just be an “in the moment” type of observation. We are all human and crave the physical bonds and intimacy a partner can provide, but let’s not mistake that for love!
It’s nice to have a great time. . . but if you truly want to find true love, the dating goes much deeper based on the questions we ask to determine if the person truly wants what you want and if he’s in action about it.
For example
. . .if he lives in another city, how could that work?
- If you were meant for each other, would you relocate?
- Would he?
That is not to say that long distance relationships cannot be successful, but you need to look at the reality and the facts!
And even though it’s just a first date, before you get too excited–there are questions you want to explore to see if the person has real potential as match and if it’s someone you’d want to invest in emotionally—and these are questions to flush out early on. Asking these questions is pretty easy and straight forward when you know how.
The mistake singles often make is not asking the important questions. . . because we’re afraid of scaring the person off. . . but it’s so important to see if you’re on same page.
And if someone doesn’t want what you want, don’t allow this to bring you down, instead be glad that you won’t waste time with them.
So It’s not about whether or not to text him — that’s all superficial. It really doesn’t matter who texts who.
It’s about embracing a super, healthy approach. One where you feel totally empowered. . . and you have the confidence to know that you’re dating men who are on your page. You need to create a strategic and practical plan that will get you there!
Why wait? You deserve it!!
P.S. The sweetest thing you can have in your love life is the ability to INVITE in great matches and to SORT through them by asking the RIGHT questions. If your love life is frustrating or nonexistent, the anxiety and self-doubt can be crippling. Book a call, and let us help you create a dating plan that’s fun, inspired and leads you to the one for you.
